A Grateful Heart: An Anti-Toxin for a Happier Life

Pathlight School students on a study mission to Beijing, China, after their PSLE exams.

Recently, a mother of my ex-student, Noah, showed me a birthday card that his classmates had presented to him.

Noah had joined his current school after spending 6 years in our special school, Pathlight School. It was a birthday card full of shared photos and warm, encouraging words for Noah. The card was all the more precious because Noah’s classmates created the card on their own accord; not because someone instructed them to.

Noah’s mother and I both laughed and wept as we recalled the challenges that Noah and the whole family have overcome in the past. We felt a deep sense of joy and relief.

As Pathlight School enters its 10th year of operation, I cannot help but recall the many lessons I have personally learnt from starting and serving in this school.

I guess the biggest lesson is on having a grateful heart (感恩的心态); to recognise that for anything we have achieved in life, someone was there to help us.

Many of us in Singapore spoke about the good old days. But the old days are not always good.

I remember the hungry start-up years when the school was looked down upon because special schools were not seen as serious providers of mainstream academic curriculum. Only 41 families were willing to send their children to our school.

Due to the low enrolment and the salary packages of the mainstream teachers we need, funding was a big challenge. In the first year of operation, I had to warn my husband that we may have to sell our house to help fund the financially bleeding school operations. Thankfully, the Ministry of Education and other donors came to the rescue.

Today, Pathlight has become the largest special school in Singapore with more than 800 (now 1,149 in 2017 Feb ) students, with more applicants than the places it can offer each year (another set of challenges).

The management system and vocational programme are now applied to Eden School, another special school it adopted as a sister school. Pathlight also shares its new faciities with its parent charity’s other important programmes for young pre-school toddlers; and adults who need employment training.

Everything the school achieved, someone helped.

First, there are the many teachers and therapists who were willing to forego better job offers elsewhere to serve the special kids.

Then, there were the key volunteers, donors, school board members and mainstream school partners, many of whom helped us when the school was small and unwanted.

On top of that, there are corporations with big hearts such as Starbucks, Mr Bean, NTUC FairPrice, and several others who faithfully helped the school, through the many years. These businesses provided industry expertise and opportunities to train students who may not be able to move on to further education.

The importance of not taking things for granted but taking them with gratitude is a life lesson not only for me.

Renowned writer on success literature, Napoleon Hill advised, that, “many successful men and women claim they are ‘self-made’. But the fact is that no one reaches the pinnacle without help. Once you have set your definite major goal for success, and taken your first steps to achieve it, you find yourself receiving help from many unexpected quarters. (So)Be prepared to give thanks.”

US President Barrack Obama too had something to say about gratitude to the wealthy and successful in his country. In his post-election victory speech in 2012, he said, “If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. .. the Internet didn’t get invented on its own..”

My ex-student, Noah’s mother, Ms Florence, decided not only to adopt an attitude of gratitude, she applied it. Long after Noah left our school, she continues to stay on as a teacher in Pathlight School , to help other children who are like Noah.

And she is not the only one. Several other parents did the same too and started serving in the schools that I supervise.

Research shows that a grateful heart has been linked to increased levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

Giving thanks is one of the most powerful ways to increase one’s well-being. Some people even say it is a vaccine, an anti-toxin, and an antiseptic.

Writer William A Ward, once commented that every one of us is given a gift of 86,400 seconds each day and he asked, “Have you used one to say ‘thank you’?’

Denise Phua Lay Peng/ My Paper’ Fortnightly Column/ 13 Feb 2013