On Builders and Cave Dwellers
Photo by Ivan Aguilar - Yong, a blind bowler who chooses to rise above his challenging life circumstances.
Last weekend, I had the privilege of meeting several inspiring persons with disabilities at a charity bowling event.
Thomas Yong became totally blind after an accident many years ago. He picked up bowling in 2002 and became an accomplished disabled bowler with the help of guide railings. Thomas has been working in the army for more than 20 years now and has competed in many bowling, chess and swimming events.
Another blind bowler I met was Thomas Chan who despite his lack of vision, completed his University education. He told me he was the head of his company’s IT department and was beaming with pride when the other bowlers complimented him on his excellent IT knowledge and skills.
Madam Aisah Ibrahim aged 67 was the spunky female bowler I met. Despite suffering from polio from birth, she raised three children with the Customer Service job that she held with SingTel for more than 30 years. Upon retirement, she picked up bowling and now serves part-time teaching Koran studies.
I met several other bowlers with disabilities that afternoon. Some were deaf while others had intellectual impairment. A number were physically handicapped and bowled from their wheelchairs.
There was something very special about them that struck me - the joy they exude and their lack of self-pity.
I also noticed something about the organising committee and the volunteers of the Bowling Association for the Disabled (Singapore) (www.bads.org.sg). I witnessed how they patiently planned the event; set up the bowling alleys; some even lifting the wheelchair-bound bowlers to the bowling alley level. No qualms; just quietly serving. The setting was one of dignity and hope.
That night, I pondered over the conversations and observations I made at the event.
Reflection 1: A Joyful Heart is Good Medicine
I am reminded of the proverb that “a joyful heart is good medicine”. Indeed, the joyful attitude that I saw in the bowlers was a stark contrast from the perpetual sulk of some friends I know who are a lot more endowed physically, intellectually and financially.
Reflection 2: Be a Builder; Not a CAVE-Dweller
I remember too a survey that the Gallup Organisation conducted on more than three million people regarding their sense of engagement with the organisations they belong to.
Gallup categorised the respondents in three distinct groups:
1. Those who are “ENGAGED” - who feel a strong connection to the mission and values of the organisation. They are “builders” who use their talents to drive change and make a positive difference to the environment around them;
2. Those who are “NOT ENGAGED” - who are not necessarily positive or negative; who basically take a wait-and-see attitude without committing to anything beyond their basic roles and responsibilities;
3. Those who are “ACTIVELY DISENGAGED” - who are constantly unhappy and make their unhappiness known to everyone; who actively put down what their engaged co-workers are building, preferring to stay with their resentment, fears and helplessness.
Gallup calls this last group of people “CAVE dwellers”; “CAVE” being an acronym to mean people who are “Continually Against Virtually Everything”.
That afternoon, I was inspired by the many ‘builders’ I met – the bowlers, organising committee and other volunteers. They could have chosen to be “CAVE dwellers” but decided otherwise.
Reflection 3: Be a Builder with a Purpose
The last reflection I want to share is from a story that was told to me by a mentor when I was a young corporate executive. Again, it was triggered by the wonderful persons I met at the bowling event. The story goes like this.
A traveller came across three men who were laying bricks at a construction site.
The traveller asked the first brick-layer what he was doing. He responded grumpily, “Can’t you see I am laying the bricks? I’ll sure be glad when it’s time to go home.”
A second brick-layer, was working diligently, and when asked what he was doing, replied, “Well, I am constructing a wall.”
The traveller then observed another brick-layer who was not only hard at work, but also took time to stand back and admire what he was building. When this third brick-layer was asked about his work, he stopped and proudly declared, “I.. am building a cathedral; a beautiful one to which many could come and find peace and rest.”
Three builders doing the same thing; with three different attitudes. Which best describes each one of us?
When one builds with a purpose, and especially for a purpose that includes others, the power and joy can be more than one can ever imagine.
My Wish
May we, like Thomas and Aisah, rise above our circumstances and choose joy.
May we, like the helpers at the disabled bowlers’ association, reject the choice of being cave dwellers.
May we choose to be builders with a purpose, laying bricks for ourselves and others for a vision that is worth pursuing.
Denise Phua Lay Peng/ My Paper’ Fortnightly Column/ 26 Feb 2013